I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
