Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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