Your tits are I can't wait for
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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