I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize