Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
