i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
