We're like a lot better than the average bears
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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