JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize