you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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