I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
