But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
