Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
