its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
