We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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