I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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