You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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