PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
