I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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