Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
