dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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