Nicole vs. Life
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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