the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
