With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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