Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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