Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
