Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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