Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
