I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
