hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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