OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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