Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
