How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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