He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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