Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize