It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
