so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
