Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
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