I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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