Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Operation Purity has been aborted
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
