In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
