Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
