those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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