you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
