This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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