It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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