We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
