he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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