Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
