I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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