you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
