I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
