Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Quick, to the slutcave!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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