i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
