East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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