do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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