Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
