i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
