well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
