there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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