Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
