billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
3pm strippers are depressing
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
