Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
