No, you can still breathe under the balls.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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