the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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