You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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