Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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