Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize