Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
COCAINE IS GR8
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
