Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
50% drunk capacity currently
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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