I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
