1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
