I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Someone shattered a urinal.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
