break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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