I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize