Don't make out with my wife yet
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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