Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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