After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
