I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
