Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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