Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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