omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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