smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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