FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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