im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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