Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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