Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
