her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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