Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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